COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION
1 .- Concept Elements
importance of effective communication in life and in various types of communication contexts
Communication and development
1 .- WHAT IS COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION FUNCTIONS
COMMUNICATION AS A HUMAN NEED
COMMUNICATION PROCESS ELEMENTS
2 .- Self-awareness and interpersonal communication
distortions of thought that affect communication
self image, obstacles and personal communication traps
Acceptance of self
2 .-
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SELF ESTEEM
3 .-
interpersonal communication self-opening and depth of communication
sympathy, antipathy and empathy
Problems communication. When do they occur?
Management Communication Problems Common problems when listening
Conditions that facilitate dialogue
Conditions that prevent dialogue
Active listening
3 .-
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SPEAKING EFFECTIVELY
communication and social skills is verbal paralinguistic component
4 .- communication and negotiation groups
problems of semantics and communication with various groups
The good receiver / transmitter
good communication styles. Self-evaluation of social integration
Project to improve personal communication. Communication and conflict
Conflict management Negotiation
4 .- COMMUNICATION AND NEGOTIATION GROUPS COMMUNICATE WITH
TOUCH
ENHANCE THE ABILITY TO LISTEN: A TOOL FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT COMMUNICATION
TALKS ROUGH
ASSERTIVE
COPING WITH PEOPLE FIDÍCILES
BIBLIOGRAPHY ANNEXES
1 .- The
COMMUNICATION ability to communicate is inherent to human beings. The man, since he began his existence, has the impulse to communicate his wants and needs. Thus, there is often a direct relationship between their ability to communicate and satisfy their needs.
Communication is an essential element self-knowledge and knowledge of the other, besides being a means to influence others and be influenced by others.
Understanding communication as the most important process of interaction between people, the need to turn it into an attitude towards life, as it is an exchange of ideas, feelings, experiences that lead to a balanced coexistence as you and I understand.
What is communication?
The word communicate comes from the Latin word "informs" share, to share in something. Making it all. give part of something. divide something with other (s).
Aristotle defined the study of communication as the search for "all means of persuasion that we have at our disposal." Explored the possibilities for other purposes that can have a speaker, however, leave well settled that the primary goal of communication is persuasion, ie, the attempt made by the speaker to bring others to have the same point view. This position continued until the late eighteenth century giving rise to the position of the faculty psychology that extolled the mind-soul duality. According to this theory, one of the objectives of the communication information, an appeal to the mind. Another was persuasive appeal made to the soul, emotions. And another served as entertainment. It said you could classify the intentions of the statement and the materials used within these categories.
The proposal of the faculty psychology had no long-lived, giving way to theories which follow on and complement the original idea of \u200b\u200bAristotle.
"Communication is the process by which meanings are transmitted from one person to another" Wriglet
"is the transmission of information, ideas, emotions, skills,
through the use of symbols, words, pictures, images, graphics ...". Berelson and Steiner.
"Communication is the process that takes place between two systems when the output of a system influences, in whole or in part at the entrance of another system. " Dorsch.
Although have not agreed as to its etymology, we understand that communication is any transfer of information with a view to a response does not always imply a passive acceptance.
Man, society, culture, civilization and progress are concepts that are validated each other in a near unbreakable, but the interaction, the force that sets in motion the process, the communication.
communication set in motion, injected dynamism into all social structures of the most varied order, no matter the size or features. Is the force that gives cohesion to the groups to give them the strength to guarantee its survival. Possesses an asset that tends to avoid conflict between the efforts, the task duplication or omission of others; strengthens confidence and encourages and motivates members of a group; corrects deviations, eliminating easy reasons for discrepancies and agreements; warns of potential disasters and, if present, provides measures to reduce its consequences.
Communications provides all the information necessary for the functioning of an organization so that decisions do not respond to whims or inspiration. In fact, cooperation and coordination achieved ever unified and harmonious actions aimed at achieving the objectives set, without using the media.
communication creates a greater coexistence within the organization and that people get along better together.
In short, good communication is the result of effective management (not just organizational, interpersonal level as well), but it is also perfectly valid to consider it as the cause of this efficiency.
FUNCTIONS OF COMMUNICATION Communication performs four basic functions within a group or organization:
· CONTROL
· Grounds
· Expression EMOTIONAL
· INFORMATION
used to control communication in various forms
the behavior of employees. The organization has hierarchies of authority and normal standards it must comply, so that when employees are required to communicate first complained to his immediate boss, to fit the job description or to obey the company policies The media is making a control function. It is important to note that informal communication also determines the behavior under rules "implicit." Promotes
motivation by clarifying to employees what they have to be, how effectively it are taking place and what measures should be taken to improve performance if it is unsatisfactory. The specific goals, feedback on progress in achieving the objectives and the reinforcement of desired behavior and require motivation stimulate communication.
For many employees, their work group is the main source of social interaction. Thus, the communication that takes place in it is an indispensable mechanism to externalize their frustrations and feelings of satisfaction, ie, allows the emotional expression of feelings and satisfaction of social needs.
The information function is related to its facilitating participation in decision making while transmitting the data with which to identify and evaluate options allows to reach better decision-making.
In summary, the groups have a good performance, it must retain some sort of control over the members, to encourage their performance, they provide a means to enable the expression of emotions and make decisions. Almost all of communicative interaction that takes place in a group or organization carries out one or more of these four functions.
Communication is the resource we use to make contact with our neighbors when we intend to maintain relations with them. Therefore, human relationships are farms on the principle of communication.
Without adequate communication is not possible to understand men. Consequently, we can not conceive the existence of good relations when communications are poor and can not be coordinated in any joint activity without the proper use of communication systems.
The satisfaction of human needs requires the help of our neighbors, because without their participation, we could not achieve the objectives. As social beings, humans require a series of satisfaction that we allow a harmonious development in the groups in which we participate. In fact, for many people the psychological safety (approval, acceptance, belonging, esteem), represents an important need. This prompts us to look for people who give us the satisfaction and avoid others that consider hostile and threatening.
COMMUNICATION AS HUMAN NEED
All our communication behavior is strongly linked to our psychological needs. Represent roles that are expected by those around us, we communicate to please people and we expect similar systems of communication from the other to function properly. From this follows the reflection about the importance of keeping systems healthy and continuous communication for humans, both familial, social and labor, they feel satisfied and achieve, in communion with formal or informal rules, the preset goals.
ELEMENTS OF THE PROCESS OF COMMUNICATION
a changing relationship, the components or parts interact and influence each other, is a process. In this sense, communication is a process. To understand more clearly this point, consider the commonly recognized stage as formative elements of the communication process.
Some authors, based on the idea of \u200b\u200ba transmitter (sender) and a receiver, include the following elements:
a) Form. Means used for communication;
b) Content. Purpose of communication that is transmitted material, and
c) Noise. Prevent transmission interference faithful, or that the communication reaches its destination.
Others, from practical viewpoints, say the principle that any action plan must be accompanied by a plan to communicate to those concerned, and consequently effective communication requires: a.
An issuer, must have a proper understanding and a vivid picture of what they want to communicate;
b. Transmission: preparation and identification of opportunities, media and people for their operation,
c. A receiver, captures the communication and is expected to accept and understand the message, and
d. A process: follow the course of communication and established its effectiveness.
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 2 .- Self-knowledge
"An optimist sees opportunity in every calamity, a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity." W Churchill
All humans are similarly integrated over the physical attributes but as people, each one differs from others in how we form our own idea of \u200b\u200bthe world, our existence and what we intend to achieve.
People are in constant contact with our neighbors through diverse activities, which allows us to establish ourselves as a vital and energetic drive, always aims to project to different targets.
Like all our activities from the needs, possibilities to satisfy them are huge, and will soon be met if human relationships are healthy and creative. People are
unit bio-psycho-social, ie the combination of the organic with the psychological and environmental influences in which we live. This implies the importance of special care to observe the three aspects that make us to have what want: a healthy body in a healthy mind and a healthy environment. In other words: harmony.
And is that the more we know, the more prepared we are to regulate our lives and we can also better understand the behavior of our neighbors, will appreciate the effect of their behavior on us, just as we can get, with More precisely, the effect that causes our behavior on them. The result will undoubtedly be the self, mutual respect and human relations satisfactory. SELF
understand my basic needs
YES? NO
1. I take care of my physical needs: food, shelter.
2. I love myself and others.
3. I venture to explore and develop.
4. Learn, study and reflection.
5. Help and work with others.
6. I accept my capabilities and limitations.
7. I fight for my autodignidad and respect.
express my feelings
SI? NO
8. I am open and spontaneous.
9. I can be intimate with another person.
10. Express depression and sadness with tears and anguish
11. I express my fears, anxieties and concerns
12. Express joy and happiness with laughter and joy.
13. I express my anger or frustration.
14. I enjoy life with others.
I have control and awareness of myself
YES? NO
15. I realize the feelings of my body: breathing
sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell.
16. I have faith in my talents and skills
17. I have sensitivity and perception of
feelings of others.
18. I plan and direct my own future.
I am aware of human values \u200b\u200b
SI?
N
19. I want big things and fantasize.
20. I am courteous and honest.
21. I attend, serve and support others.
22. Developing an appreciation for the beauty and art.
23. Learn to give and love fully.
24. Respect the opinions and viewpoints of others. Development
personal and social maturity
YES? NO
25. I am aware in advance of the
consequences of my behavior.
26. I take responsibility for my own decisions.
27. I identify with the problems of others and offer my help
.
Self-knowledge means to give you a deep look at yourself and then change the things I do not like. It involves breaking down resistance and habits, requires patience and realistic to know that your dreams will be fulfilled. Not a work overnight, but the results are worth the effort. Self-knowledge is self
. Having healthy self esteem is to appreciate your individuality so that you can meet others in a positive and productive manner. Each
of us always act, feel and behave according to their self-esteem and, therefore, their self-perception, regardless of the reality of this picture. We carry a mental impression or image that is forged oneself, which may be vague and poorly defined for the look conscious.
Once an idea, belief or impression on us is integrated in the image, it becomes "true" as far as we're concerned. We do not question its validity, but we act as if it were true.
Therefore, building a positive image is something we can accomplish. Develop a healthy self-perception, is to live released, however, to express negative aspects, we are imprisoning our potential.
Esteem Self-esteem is the concept we have of our worth, and is based on all the thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences about ourselves we have gathered during our lifetime. Thousands of impressions, assessments and experiences and come together in a positive sense to ourselves or, conversely, an uncomfortable feeling of not being what we expected.
successes and failures, self satisfaction, psychological well-being and social relationships all bear the stamp of self-esteem. Having a positive self-concept and self-esteem is of paramount importance for personal, professional and social sense as it encourages of identity, is a framework from which to interpret external reality and their own experiences, influences performance, determines the expectations and motivation and contributes to health and mental balance. Think
esteem means:
· Acceptance of strengths and weaknesses
realistic goals • Planning
· Learn to enjoy your own company
· Pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that make you feel happy and satisfied
• To be proud to be who you
Appreciate your achievements and proud of obtaining
Learn from your successes and your mistakes. Life Enrichment
Inter .. and intrapersonal challenges accepted
Some common side effects of low self-esteem are:
• Lack of self-confidence • Low performance
· Vision distorted self and others
• An unhappy personal life
• Low or no empathic
If we go by a perception of success will ... Sense of direction
Understanding Value Estimate
Charity Trust self-acceptance
But if we are guided by a perception led to failure ...
Frustration Aggression
Soledad
Insecurity Uncertainty
Resentment
Achieve Emptiness
changes in self-esteem and self-perception takes some time ... but it's easier than it looks . All it requires is constant practice. Just enough to make our new learning.
Communication is fundamental to relate to others, it requires constant observation of oneself. The relationship is simple: a better self-image, greater ability to communicate purposefully, the more chance active listening and more likely to negotiate, with a negative self-image, the ability to communicate poorly because the distorted image we have of oneself and others is greater. 3 .-
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
interpersonal communications are not limited to only one aspect of our lives. We communicate in this way every time we interact with others and how well we do depends on the success we achieve in the end.
communicate with another person is not a science, ie there is no precise set of regulatory procedures or accurate. There are principles and specific issues and solid, but there are thousands of variations on these themes. Hence to communicate is the art of using the skill and ability to succeed, within certain guidelines.
speak effectively moves the world communication. Now more than ever, it is necessary to mastering the techniques of interpersonal communication to meet the business requirements, individual and group imponen.El us how, when and why a person says a certain thing, are central to effective interpersonal relationships. The message listener or viewer forms an opinion about who speaks, and this view contributes, in turn, to form an image, which plays an important role in the success or failure of each person in your dealing with others.
Virtually every aspect of daily life have anything to do with communications, which affect not only the way we use our time and our money, but also in our ability to compete in the workplace and to maintain our level of life. However, despite all the important communication systems we have, we still need to personally communicate with others. In short, personal communications play an important role in our lives.
Since dialogue is the foundation of all human interaction, our ability to converse intelligently is of paramount importance. Moreover, our effectiveness depends on how we present ourselves to others, and the way they see us. It is not just talking, but effectively convey a message, to convince, to give and receive information.
The ability to communicate effectively depends on:
Share preconceptions.
clarity in the way of expression. Modulation of reactance
Bidirectionality.
audiovisual support.
To ensure efficient communication at all times speaker and listener must know what is being said. Effective communication is based on sharing the background of the problem is analyzed to have the same evidence.
The short sentences avoid monotony in pitch, eliminating crutches, guttural sounds, invite or allow the intervention of the listener, and vocabulary to understand and with the right emotional evocation are basic features of a good communicator.
The reactance can be defined as the reaction of a person or group against attempts to restrict their freedom or their rights (interruptions, not active listening.) .
bidirectional means above all to create a sincere and flexible flow of exchange of views. To achieve two-way communication should be good listening.
Effective communication requires training, discipline and constant self-observation, so that we can realize the successes and encouraging, and the mistakes and inhibit or eliminate them.
communication and social skills
A socially skilled behavior is defined as a set of behaviors emitted by an individual in an interpersonal context in which he expresses feelings, attitudes, desires, opinions or rights in a manner appropriate to the situation in respect of these behaviors other and solving immediate problems in a given situation to minimize the likelihood of future problems.
Social skills are essential to make 2 types of objectives: Objectives
mood: getting satisfactory relationships with relatives and others, establishing friendships and relationships.
instrumental objectives: enabling operate successfully in the community including buying, selling, use of social institutions and benefits, job interviews and work.
Given the behavior of people we form a global impression (call MOLAR) which consists of specific miniconductas (called MOLECULAR).
non-verbal component (molecular)
The look: It is defined objectively as another person looking to eye, or more generally the top half of the face. " Implies the mutual gaze that has been established "eye contact" with another person. Almost all interactions Humans rely on mutual glances. The meanings and functions of gaze patterns are multiple:
Attitudes: People looking over is seen as more pleasant, but the extreme form of gaze is seen as hostile and / or pervasive. Certain sequences of interaction are more meanings: for example, be the first to stop looking is a sign of submission, the pupil dilated, a sign of interest in the other.
Expression of emotions: Watching more intensifies the expression of some emotions, like anger, while others look less intensified, as shame. Accompaniment
speech: The look is used, along with the conversation, for synchronize or comment on the spoken word. In general, if the listener looks more, generating more response from the speaker, and if the speaker looks over again, is seen as persuasive and secure.
Facial expression: It seems that the face is the main signal system to show emotions. There are 6 main emotions and 3 areas of the face responsible for their expression. The emotions are: happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, anger, disgust or contempt. The three facial regions involved are: the forehead / eyebrows, eyes / eyelids, the lower face. A socially skilled behavior requires a facial expression that is consistent with the message. If a person shows an expression Face of fear or anger while trying to start a conversation with someone, you may not succeed.
The smile is an important component. Can be used as defensive smile as a gesture of peace. May serve to convey the fact that a person likes another, can soften a refusal to communicate a friendly attitude, and encourage others to being returned to a smile.
Gestures: A gesture is any action that sends a visual stimulus to an observer. To become a gesture, an act must be seen by someone else and has to communicate some information. The gestures are essentially cultural. Hands and to a lesser degree, the head and feet can produce a wide variety of gestures, which are used for a number of different purposes. The gestures are formed on a second channel of communication, those that are appropriate to the words spoken will serve to emphasize the message by adding emphasis, openness and warmth. Uninhibited movements may also suggest openness, trust in yourself (unless it was a nervous gesture) and spontaneity on the part of the speaker.
The position: The position of the body and limbs, how the person feels, how it stands and how to walk, reflect their attitudes and feelings about themselves and their relationship with others. The meanings and functions of the position are manifold:
Attitudes: The positions that reduce the distance and increasing openness to the other are warm, friendly and intimate. Warm positions include leaning forward, arms and legs apart, hands extended to the other, etc. In turn, lean back and folded his hands holding the back of the head may be a reflection of dominance or surprise. Shyness can be expressed through the arms hanging down and his head sunk and to one side. On the contrary, legs apart, arms akimbo and dish can express determination.
Emotions: The position may reflect specific emotions. Thus, indifference can be expressed through the hunched shoulders, arms or hands upright extended and anger, through clenched fists, tilt forward and arms extended, the flirting, through the cross or uncross the legs, etc. Accompaniment
speech: Major changes in posture are used to mark large speech units, such as changing the subject, and point to emphasize taking or giving the floor.
have been identified 4 categories posture:
Approach: attentive attitude communicated by a forward tilt of the body.
Retreat: negative attitude, refusal or rejection, expressed or turning back the other way.
Expansion: arrogant and contemptuous attitude is reflected in the expansion of the chest, trunk or tilted back straight, head up and shoulders elevated.
Contraction: slouched posture or depression that is characterized by a trunk leaning forward, a sunken head, shoulders and chest hanging sunk.
Guidance: The type of spatial orientation denotes the degree of intimacy / formality of the relationship. The more face to face is the orientation, more intimate the relationship, and vice versa.
distance / physical contact: The degree of proximity clearly expresses the nature of any interaction and varies with social context. Within the body contact there are different degrees of pressure and different points of contact that may signal emotional states like fear, interpersonal attitudes and a desire for privacy.
Personal appearance: Current technological development can greatly alter a person's appearance (makeup, cosmetic surgery, hair, thinning regime, etc.).. Clothing and decorations play an important role in the impression that others form of an individual. Components based on the attractiveness and perceptions of the other are the physical, clothes, face, hair and hands. The purpose of the change of appearance is the self-presentation to others. Change Hair style is one of the most influential factors in personal appearance. Physical attractiveness may be an important element in the first place, but at the time of establishing a lasting relationship are other elements that have more weight.
paralinguistic component
The volume of voice: The most basic function of the volume is to make a message reaches a potential listener. The loud voice may indicate security domain. However, talking too loud (which suggests aggression, anger or rudeness) can also have negative effects - people may leave or avoid future encounters -. Changes in volume voice can be used in conversation to emphasize points. A voice that varies little volume will not be very interesting to hear.
Intonation: Intonation is used to communicate feelings and emotions. Some words can express hope, affection, sarcasm, anger, excitement or disinterest, depending on the variation of intonation of the speaker. A low pitch, low volume indicates boredom or sadness. A tone that varies can be boring or monotonous. People are perceived as more dynamic and extroverted when they change the tone of their voices often during a conversation. Variations in pitch can also serve yield the floor. In general, a rising intonation is evaluated positively (ie as joy), a pitch that drops, negative (sad), a steady tone as neutral. Intonation often given to the words is more important than the verbal message to be transmitted.
Fluency: The hesitations, false starts and repetitions are quite common in everyday conversations. However, excessive speech disturbances can cause a feeling of insecurity, incompetence, lack of interest or anxiety. Too many periods of silence could be interpreted negatively, especially as anxiety, anger or even a sign of contempt. Expressions with an excess of filler words during breaks (eg, "you know", "good") or sounds like "ah" or "huh" cause perceptions of anxiety or boredom. Another type of disturbance include repetitions, stuttering, incorrect pronunciations, omissions and nonsense words.
Clarity: The clarity in speech is important. If slurred speech, and strife, a tone or excessive vocalization, one can make the other heavier.
Speed: Speak slowly can make others become impatient or bored. On the contrary, if done too quickly, one can not be understood.
talk time: This item refers to while maintaining the individual speaking. The talk time a person can be problematic at both ends, ie, whether just talking as if he speaks too. The most appropriate is a reciprocal exchange of information. VERBAL COMPONENTS
Content: Talking is used for a variety of purposes, for example, communicating ideas, describe feelings, reason and argue. The words used will depend on the situation in which a person is, their role in that situation and what you are trying to accomplish. The theme or content of speech may vary greatly. You can be intimate or impersonal, simple or abstract, informal or technical. Some verbal elements that have been found important in socially skilled behavior have been, for example, expressions of personal attention, positive comments, asking questions, verbal reinforcement, the use of humor, the variety of themes, the expressions in first person, etc.. 4 .-
COMMUNICATION AND NEGOTIATION GROUPS
TALK THE ART OF TOUCH
Tact is the ability to recognize the delicacy of a situation and then say the most polite or appropriate. Requires some sensitivity to others, combining the ability to express a point with confidence but without offending. It is the talent to deal with circumstances or difficult people. Requires ingenuity and skill to discover what will make a person feel better after talking with you. COMMUNICATING WITH TOUCH
1 .- Think before you speak. The best way to avoid mistakes is, first, not tell them. To avoid an indiscreet comment, think about what you mean and how they want to say before you say. Many people who speak without thinking do not notice the negative impact that their words have on others. Before issuing a comment without thinking, ask yourself:
Ø How would I feel if someone said this to me? Ø
what I want to achieve with my words? Ø
what response I would like to hear? Ø
are reasonable expectations? Ø
whose benefit am I saying this? Ø
how the other person will feel after listening to my words? 2 .-
offers apologies if you made a mistake.
all make oral blunders from time to time and it is important to recognize and repair. It is useful to be aware of the verbal and nonverbal reactions of the other person, as indicated apologize if necessary. When you say something wrong, apologize immediately
Ø Ø Ø acknowledge your error
avoids gimmicky
apologize or repeat the apology to Ø
humility lead the conversation to a subject more lively.
3 .- Talk, do not compete.
If you adopt an aggressive style of conversation like "talk to win," surely impress people, but negatively. The competitive talkers tend to be indiscreet and boring because they see the conversation as a contest rather than a mutual exchange of ideas, feelings, opinions or information.
When you express your views without a competitive approach, people will be more likely to listen without giving offense.
4 .- Choose the right time for your comments.
sure that the person to which you want to expose your views are willing to listen. His start talking non-stop too soon or too late, you're wasting the opportunity to present your point of view. There
perfect moments, but some are better than others. Avoid, therefore, to discuss sensitive or personal issues in the following circumstances:
or public place or in the company of friends or coworkers, or
time someone comes home from work, or get up
, Ø
when you or the other person cranky,
Ø with distractions such as television or telephone,
Ø after an intimate moment with your partner.
The chance of your comments will improve if:
or agreements
a moment to talk or go straight to the point
or not insist on an answer or
immediate compliance or demonstrate a willingness to listen.
5 .- Focus on behavior, not personality.
Do you have a friend who irritates you? There are people who love to complain or take detours in communication. When the reactions of the other person threaten the relationship, it is important to speak out. The approach would be to identify the behavior that is annoying rather than focusing on changing the other's personality.
6 .- Put uncovered hidden feelings.
say something tricky is easier if you first try to uncover and understand the feelings of the other person. For example, if your father gives you to understand your decision to make such an investment is irresponsible, do not say: "Why do not you worry about your own business and stop treating me like a no. It's my money and do whatever I want. "
This defensive response and child does little to inspire the confidence of the father. Find out if any other sentiment behind that remark. In that case, perhaps your father wants to prevent you from making a mistake is similar to another that he came and he went very expensive. Once that exposes the true motives and needs that lie behind these criticisms, you can take a better answer to address the real issue. In that case you can say, "Dad, I appreciate your concern about my investments, but it seems that you care also something else. Is there something you'd like to talk to me? "
7 .- Stay tuned to the reactions. Inattention
often causes indiscreet comments. Often the criticisms or lack of touch response to a desire to dominate the conversation without considering what the other person has to say. If you listen with attention to information and reactions, you will know if the person is listening to you and understand your views. It will also detect what matters the most and sensitize want to discuss, and if you will be responsive to your opinions or not.
8 .- Talk to touch at all times.
Be careful always to talk to someone, but the conversation is not delicate. So when it comes time to confront an urgent situation, you'll need some practice.
yes and no to practice communicating with tact:
· Be direct, courteous and calm.
Do not be rude or aggressive.
Do not give advice that you request.
· Do not be condescending, superior and sarcastic.
· Be aware that what you will take effect may not work with others.
Do not throw personal attacks or innuendo.
· Exhibits central points first and then give more details if necessary.
Do not expect others to follow your advice or always agree with you.
· Stay alert for hidden feelings.
Do not suggest it changes a person can not implement easily.
LISTENING SKILLS BOOST: A TOOL FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
When a person shows interest or enthusiasm for what is being said, it causes feelings of confidence, comfort and safety.
A person who shows little interest is perceived as peels and, when heard, usually generated by wrong-headed comments that cause personal and professional conflicts.
Ways to enhance the ability to listen effectively:
A) Eliminate internal and external distractions. It is absolutely crucial to pay attention to the speaker: his body language, he says, does not say, feelings and meanings that his words imply. Among the external distractors are: television, loud radio, people talking at the same time, fiddling with a pencil scribble or receive phone calls. Among the internal distractors are: daydreaming, be concerned and do not externalize it, take excessive notes, focusing only on the facts or argue mentally with the speaker.
B) Encourage the other person speak first. There are three reasons to encourage others to express their views before doing so you: a) listen to shows education and the desire to objectively consider the other point of view. This makes the other person feel valued in their opinions, b) encourage the other person to talk reduces the issue of competition in a conversation; c) ask another person to share their views will allow you to identify areas under before exposing your opinions. Once established, your responsiveness will increase their powers of persuasion.
C) use and observe body language. It costs too much to understand why the very expressive body language or selfless listener makes the speaker feel self-conscious and less willing to open. In contrast, expressive body language and interested reveals a receptive listener who wants to understand, which encourages the person to speak. When you want to connect with someone, show you're listening. Body language includes:
- smiling nonchalantly
-
uncross arms - keep hands away from face
- lean slightly
-
frequent eye contact - nodded.
Be aware of body language of the speaker also enhances your ability to listen. If you concentrate attention on the way to say something like the content, place your interest in the concerns, areas of awareness and hidden feelings of the speaker. This "listen between the lines' helps avoid tactless comments that may offend or provoke discussion.
D) Avoid unnecessary interruptions. Good listeners do not interrupt the conversation with comments trivial, minor corrections, abrupt changes of subject not to complete an unfinished sentence. The frequent interruptions reveal a poor attention span, an aggressive, fatal manner, and mainly low communicability. There are two exceptions to the rule to avoid interruptions: a) the ping-pong effect of an animated conversation appropriate includes many interruptions with questions, comments relevant replicas that move the discussion to a discussion. b) there are situations where you need to interrupt the speaker because he has gone through some important data, because you have not understood a concept or need to clarify a given opinion.
E) Stay tuned for keywords. Discussions are made many hundreds of words, some more important than others. The key words in a conversation are those drawn imagery. These keywords also transmit information and demonstrate interest and emotions, The key word is like the tip of an iceberg: just below the surface is much more information on the pending issue to talk about it. Most of the people scatter keywords consciously or unconsciously, so that the listener the capture and refer to them with questions or comments. Keywords show confidence and willingness to discuss a sensitive issue. Furthermore, you can identify decidor how to respond in a conversation. Simply to repeat the key word or phrase a question can prove that you're interested in what is being said.
F) Listening to the reflective mode. Insists on returning to express what you have heard someone say. Shows that you have been listening and you understand what the speaker has said. The reflective technique does not mean the person to imitate word for word, instead you must use your own words to summarize the main points expressed by the other person. Example: Did you say that you feel uncomfortable to live near the mall?
Among the advantages of reflective art include:
- contribute to harmony and responsiveness
- makes the other person feel
important - lets you focus on the essential elements of the conversation
- helps to quickly correct the misinterpretations and false assumptions
- can speak spontaneously
- keeps the conversation.
G) clarifies doubts implied. Some people do not dare to express their thoughts and opinions directly. Instead, they suggest their true opinions and feelings through phrases or questions implied. The underlying ideas disrupt communication because the listener often inattentive misinterprets the meaning or purpose of the speaker. The first step in overcoming this problem communication is to listen carefully to the statements or questions "meaning" of the speaker, which involve much more than they actually express. The tone of your voice and words are very revealing stresses. For example, if someone says "you know perfectly well what I mean, you can answer" no, I do not know. Please tell me exactly what you mean. " Another: "After everything I've done for you, I expected more than this," what you can say "exactly what you expect from me?".
Ask the speaker to clarify statements implied greatly reduces the chances of making an unfortunate comment and help to expose hidden sensitivities. First ask yourself, 'What is it that NO is saying? " and then directly asks the person, "but not what you said, I have the impression that you want to suggest that ..., what what you mean?" or "I'm not sure what you mean when you say you expected more of me. Could you give me an example of how I've let you down? "
H) Identify the main points and focus attention on them. Avoid focusing on trivia avoid wasting time guessing wrong. People who listen follow the evolution of the main ideas that speech and then make an effort to predict where they lead these central points. If you identify, follow and anticipate correctly the ideas and conclusions of the other person, then you are listening and communicating successfully. However, if you think that you get stuck on the details, go back and analyze to what extent the central points deviated. Example: "Where are you getting at exactly?", "Not sure I understand your main proposal," If I understand correctly, your idea is ... "
I) Review and quietly ordering the main points and draw your own conclusions. In most of the talks comes a time which may take a moment to mentally review and order the main points raised by the other person. Start by ordering that you think that the speaker considers most important. This practice allows for supplementary questions. When you have finished ordering the main points again to say aloud what we think are the conclusions of the speaker. Example: "If I understand correctly, your decision is ..."
J) accepted the view of the speaker. If you do not accept the terms of the other person, you will lose many opportunities to contribute to harmony. Supports the right of the person you converse (any age) to their own opinions, conclusions and views, although they differ from yours. Example: "I now understand that your position is ..." or "before you to tell me not understand, but now that I see from your perspective I perceive your point of view."
Play is a vital link in the chain of communication
TALKS
ROUGH
In a difficult conversation we tend to get nervous and insecure for fear of ridicule, say something wrong, the other person angry or lose something we consider important, such as respect, work or an important relationship. Fear can ruin your safety only if you let it, because you can control your temper and stay calm in difficult conversations. To handle, it is advisable to resort to other (s) communication techniques to increase your safety, efficacy, oral and personal power:
Relaxation Technique No. 1
Ø Repeat
must relax. The exercise is simple but effective. Concentrate on keeping the muscles relaxed while you walk, sit and develop your daily activities. As you feel the voltage returns to a few areas of your body, remember that you must return to relax.
or lie with their back against the floor and legs uncrossed. Put your hands slightly below the navel. Breathes in and out slowly and gently as you begin to count from ten to one. To pronounce each number relaxes the muscles in the top of the head, eyebrows, mouth, neck, shoulders, chest and back. Repeat the exercise starting this time by the muscles of the toes, calves, legs and lower back. Technique No. 2
Show positive results to develop your safety.
Visualization is an ancient remedy consists in using the imagination to create a mental representation of something you would like to achieve, how to resolve a misunderstanding or improve interpersonal relationships.
or find a place where you can relax and close your eyes. Imagine a situation you want to solve. Perceive it with all your senses and focus on every detail of the place and person. In your imagination see yourself presenting your projects with confidence and poise and calmly answering questions. Do it in such a way that is in present tense. If you fear not worry about repress, and leave to intervene for a few moments and then delete them off as your television. Refocuses your imagination toward the end of the situation you have raised and the session ends nicely. Technical
No. 3
Statements.
are statements that reaffirm the security and one is said both aloud and in silence. Maintained a constant dialogue with the mind. It is important to them present tense. Practiced often, come to transform the negative attitudes and lack of expectations in a positive and possible.
Examples of statements: CRACKING
WEAK "I am calm, prepared and confident."
"I remember my presentation."
"I'm open to any comments"
"I hope not criticize me a lot"
"I like sharing my ideas"
"I hope these proposals do not rob me I have." Technical
No. 4
Prepare a script of communication.
Sketch or write what is meant to help maintain calm in a difficult conversation as it provides a scheme that you can follow while speaking. Knowing what you'll say in advance allows you to concentrate on the 'overview' and not get lost in discussions on relevant details counterproductive. Also, write down your communication helps to clarify the ideas and views so that when the express out loud what you do with security.
To prepare a script, you can use the following format: 1 .- Go to
grain given to know the opinion of the situation.
2 .- The reasons for your opinions. Be brief, use short words and phrases. 3 .- Examples
specific so that illustrate your point of view. It includes names, dates, numbers, etc. 4 .- Conclusions
or additional steps that you want to. Repeat your views and your conclusions. Technical
Practice No. 5
presentation.
Practice what you mean in a difficult situation helps to keep calm because it allows to incorporate and take your media ploy. Remember that how you say it is more important than what you say. To do this, you auxiliarte the following tactics:
aloud, mirror and practice:
or hear the sound of your voice
Ø Emphasize the most important words in your message or slow speech
and slowly
Ø Make positive statements of the situation live.
With this tactic you should use a mirror in which to say your argument, keep eye contact, control your gestures, do not cross your arms and keep your head up.
For greater security, rehearse your script at least five times before saying it. You'll be ready for a difficult conversation and take it to success.
Stay calm in unexpected confrontations.
there a strategy to maintain control in difficult conversations and unexpected. Ø
not fight back.
First step: When subjected to a verbal attack body adrenaline and downloading immediately responds, among many other reactions, the mind searches for that which you can fight to feel in balance. The result of not managing stress is a continuous struggle and perhaps a flood of insults and accusations and at the end, no winners.
The best response to a verbal attack, is the head, spouse (a), child or parent is doing nothing, that is, listen as a few deep breaths to facilitate relaxation and manage ideas. If you require a response, it can be like: "I do not want to start a fight with these things, but I'd like to hear what you think about it," or "I will not discuss for this, but I understand why you think so. "
Second step: Instead of losing his temper in an unexpected verbal attack, breathe and try to relax while we seek the reasons for the conflict. While another person is losing control, you can analyze what is happening mentally. Then, it sets the basic rules of how you will communicate. For example:
"I'm not upset because I want to discuss this issue rationally" or "I'll keep quiet because that communicate better," "Let us try to put aside personal issues and dedicate to the subject such that it is losing of view "or" let us a moment to calm down and then talk. "
Third step: listen, understand and accept other views. An effective method to keep calm before a person who is angry in a conversation, is to grant the right to feel that way, even if you do not share their attitude. Use the "reflective listening." The conflict will tend to soften and to understand the reasons for the anger.
When you stay calm in a tense situation, also encourages the other person to calm down and talk more rationally.
Fourth step: Propose to the other person an acceptable compromise. Once you have determined the origin of the conflict, can find a compromise that satisfies both. When Using this process, the art of making deals-both people away from the hostile situation and are satisfied with the results.
To propose to the other person talk about solutions or compromises, you auxiliarte of the following examples:
"Now that they understand the situation better, let's see if we can reach a solution that both contented."
"I'm sure we can overcome our differences over the conflict."
"If you're not satisfied, me neither. Let's start talking again so we can find a way back on track this relationship. "
Keeping calm in a conflict will increase personal power
COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVE
If you stay silent in the face of a talker intimidating if you do not dare to say no even in the bizarre suggestions, if you think scares the face to someone who is making life difficult, time to become a strong communicator.
energetic conversationalist concept is not synonymous with being aggressive. Talk to energy means that it is able to make a statement or question and then be prepared for a possible objection, refusal or disapproval of the listener. The fact that assert something confidently suggest that you have dignity, strong beliefs and will assume responsibility staff for your words and actions. Your energy and perseverance are the ones that reflect your safety, not the aggressiveness with which you speak or act.
This style of communication allows people with different views and try to minimize friction compromises acceptable to both parties.
If you use energy as the talks touch on tension, avoid shouting and comments insensitive and irrational. In addition, there are more possibilities for others to listen and respect your feelings, opinions, judgments and opinions and be more open to changing their behavior or how they treat you.
strong communication, dignity and self-esteem are closely linked. The ability to override
is easy to learn at any stage of life. Should be carried, but the effort worthwhile.
six-step strategy
Although this strategy is six steps, it is not necessary to use all and you can change the order to suit your particular situation. Remember it is important to reach the merits of what you say before the person is declared innocent, counter or change the subject. Evita
start a conversation if you realize that your emotions bubbling or if you're about to explode. Let
strategy in the following example:
Location: A partner and you share daily ride to work. Often your partner is delayed when you pass by him or late when it happens for you. Delays have made you late on several occasions and now has received a reprimand from your boss.
First step: repeat your rights to impose.
Before speaking directly with your partner, says:
"I have a right to feel, think and act this way,"
"I have the right to change his mind"
"I have a right to be treated with respect"
"I have the right to just say no "
" I have the right to act on my behalf. "
Second step: applying for a private moment.
In calm tone tell your co-worker:
"I need to talk to you about a problem. Got a minute? "
Third step: Briefly describe the problem behavior.
Keep talking in a firm but friendly:
"I like to share transportation in recent weeks but I was late because you were not ready to go when I passed by you or arrive late to my house."
Step Four: Explains how the problem behavior affects you.
not go around the bush, let your voice convey your mood without having to increase the volume:
"Being late for work I alter my daily schedule and it has caused difficulties with my boss, it is not the first time it happens."
Fifth step: specify what particular conduct is what you want to change.
Your tone must continue strong and expressive body language. Focus on the substance and make emphasis on keywords like "leave at half past seven," agreed to share the transport with me, "" not ready "and" go to work only "
" Maybe you do not concerned with having good relations with your supervisor but I do, so from now I'll leave at seven and a half. If you interested in our agreement to share the transport with me I think it's great, but if you're not ready, you can start thinking about going to work alone. "
Sixth step: repeat your position and demands a response:
"I like your company but I can not afford to arrive late for work sometimes, so choose: do we still going to work or travel together each on its own?"
is likely that your partner agrees to make an effort to be punctual. Either way be prepared to receive the kind of habitual responses: ineffective excuses, arguments and accusations with the intention to downplay the situation. Might sound like this:
"I have not been late many times, are a bit exaggerated"
"You too were late one day"
"Tell your boss it's my fault and leave you in peace"
"Do not be paranoid or anything to both ".
not argue with these responses, no counterattacks, A more effective way to resolve these situations is "broken record", ie repeats the same answer over and over again until the other person accepts your position and address the issue seriously :
"I understand you think that way, but let me repeat that from today I will leave at the appointed time. If you want to continue sharing the transport you will have to be ready or I'll just work. So choose: we going together or each on their own will. "
This technique is very useful for typical cases as
The meeting
"Take a tequila
" No thanks, not spurn.
"Do not be boring; one and now.
"Thank you but not spurn.
-Do not leave us alone, take to yourself a toast.
"No, thank you for offering but I prefer to drink tequila. Pledge with him.
"What, are you afraid to get up behind?
-just now I feel like drinking. Does it seem wrong?
"Well, there you're going to bore you.
Talk
energy, not aggressively
aggressive phrases often contain criticism and accusations, while the phrases reveal strong views and wishes of the speaker.
Examples:
not say ... (Aggressiveness)
Di ... (Energy, assertiveness)
"You ought to know how I feel"
"I'm upset by ...".
"You should not feel so"
"What do you think about the situation?
"Why me always to blame when something goes wrong?
"I give you my version of the affair"
"I told you but I did case "
" It could happen to anyone "
" How can you be so foolish as to think that?
"I see the situation the same way as you, but I respect your opinion."
to cope with Difficult People
There are some annoying people to get tested again and again your ability to prevail, and the limits of your patience. These difficult personalities harshly criticize your opinions and trample your dignity ... If you are the let! Although there are times when any of us can be annoying, difficult personalities following are not easy to treat and require an extra perseverance and additional strategies. The overwhelming
people are insistent that seeks to demonstrate at all costs that are right and get away with using the most intense pressure, threats and intimidation. These people often hostile and abusive accusations clamoring full-throated and pounded his fist on the table, hoping that others give in and do things your way. Its purpose is to crush any opposition and when you've figured out where it came from the attack, an overwhelming ground can kick you out quickly, along with your self-esteem.
Example:
"How can you be so stupid!"
"This you shall pay! "
" If you do not do what I tell you I'll be sorry! "
" This is what you do and do not want to hear another word! "
When you run into someone overwhelming, use this strategy: Step
:
or disagree, but do not argue.
The overpowering want to dominate and attack know that many people prefer to give in to their pressure before a fight. If you defend you're telling this person that you will not let you dominate. Keep your arms uncrossed, constant eye contact, say the name of the overwhelming and explain that you disagree, but do not start a fight:
"Mr. Godinez, I disagree with you "
" Mom, I see the situation differently. "
"Carlos, I do not see it. I would argue that ... "
" Boss, my view is different. I understand that ... "
Ø Avoid fighting words.
not fight with overwhelming that: they love to fight and usually win. If you avoid phrases that provoke discussion, you can get away with and prevent the overwhelming be exalted over the account. Let them know you disagree, but do it so that you avoid the discussion:
not say: "You're completely wrong," "You have no clue" "You think you're ready, right?" "Be careful what you say" "I have no reason to be listening to such rubbish," "Who do you think you talking about?".
Second step:
Ø Ask questions such as why you feel this way? Expressing your differences
requests the overwhelming better explain his point of view. This shows that you will listen and understand an opinion prefer to discuss who is right:
"I do not agree with you, but please tell me why you think so."
"I do not share your opinion, but I want to know why have that impression. "
"I have a different opinion, but you could help me understand why you see this situation in such a way."
Third step: Use your turn to speak.
After the overwhelming has set out its views, it is crucial that you take advantage of your turn to speak, because otherwise he will start again press. Also, deprive speech overwhelming control of the situation, showing that you do not feel intimidated by the aggressive tactics. Ø
conforms on one view, then expose your point of view. If you start your rebuttal admitting a point of view, though is a minor issue "that the overwhelming has expressed before, he will feel confused because you will be confirming and disagreeing at the same time:
" While I agree with you that ... I have come to another conclusion, "" What you said about ... is perfectly logical, but in my opinion has an impact slightly different to what you suggest. "
"I could not agree more with you about ... but I see that as something negative. In fact, quite the opposite because ... "
Ø Do not let the overwhelming interrupted.
usually do so because they are trying to manipulate, but do not let him get away with this Technical
say is essential that first name. "Mrs. Garcia, I was interrupted. I am explaining the situation, so please listen ... "
not say:" Stop interrupting me once and for all "or anything like that. Just say your name and practice the broken record technique. This strategy forces the overwhelming to notice you're not going to yield to pressure and you do not care to open a discussion. In most cases, it does not give in and try to intimidate both.
The
Smarty Smarty feel compelled to impress and dominate what they believe is their vast experience and superior knowledge. For the all-knowing experts like to think and believe they always have the right answer to any problem. Although their intentions are good, the wise guy trying to overwhelm with facts to prove that they are right or to minimize the level of understanding of the listener and pressure him to follow his wise advice.
First step: Repeat out loud and in your own words the main points that exposed the smartie. Technique used for this reflection.
Second step: ask detailed questions of evidence. Asking questions shows you're considering what Smarty has been suggested, but also indicates that while you're still a little confused about some of the highlights.
Third step: Ask a question about a hypothesis "in the worst case." They were very impressed by their own logic, so that at Hypothesis "worst case" will leave you thinking about the possible solution of the problem. Once you have that smarty consider this scenario, add other possibilities. Is likely to release the pressure to help stop the questioning ... at least for now.
the camouflaged
The camouflage can be deadly because they tend to encerronas with his insinuations, sarcasm and quirky sense of humor, always at your ribs. Are misleading and used to give indirect attacks ridicule your credibility, plus they like performing in front of an audience. Step
: Confront the camouflage. They dislike direct confrontation, so that compel them to leave behind their sarcastic remarks or innuendo. It is easier to challenge the camouflaged private, but if necessary, do it directly and when they are. These people are passive aggressive, but when they are thrown bare arms.
Step two: It causes a negative reaction. Ask questions like "what ...?" you do not like to carry the conversation directly to the field of camouflage and force him to make specific comments openly, which can respond. Example: "Joseph, your comment about my project very nice, but I detect a distinct impression that no one can say that the idea fool you. If I am right, why do not you tell us we're here for what you do not like? "Or" Josephine recuperadme let you play your comic number in the next dinner, but for the moment, your comments I get the impression that you do not appreciate too much the idea. If this is true, I wonder what you dislike in order to discuss "
Third step: continuing the presentation. Once you've cut the power of disguise, go ahead with your conversation. Do not give excessive importance to the confrontation and make comments. A bore
pessimists The spoilers are constantly disrupting the dreams or other purposes. Often given many reasons not to do things or take risks and then proclaim their philosophy "in any way would not work, so why bother ..." The spoilers are not only undermine their own motivation but destroy the enthusiasm of others . Since its negativity is contagious, these people who always say NO sometimes are guilty of that other missed opportunities.
First step: Do not argue, you better listen and repeat what the spoilers have said. Discuss with them only encourages more negativity. Rather than argue, repeat your own words what he said, emphasizing key points. Example: "If I understand correctly, you think that there is even the remotest possibility that this project gets approval. Right? "Or" From what I understand, you think I should give up the dream of my life to put their own business. Is it so? "
Second step: Supports the view of spoilers. The fact accepted if terms satisfies their desire to be heard. Although they are generally pessimistic, the ideas of the spoilers can be quite useful.
Third step: Say you're going to risk it anyway. Once admitted the chances that the spoiler is right, just say you're going to continue with your plans despite the risks.
Step Four: Ask the spoilers to help you. Rejecting the views of the spoilers could trigger in him the desire to fail, just to prove that you were wrong. However, surprisingly, if you ask for their cooperation, the spoiler may forgive you for not following his advice and become a powerful ally in achieving your goals. Example: "I know you think I make the move alone is crazy and I appreciate your opinion. Would you like to help when the right? "WHAT
YOU AND WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE. Ø
Be persistent but tempted to give up. Ø
not respond immediately. Take a deep breath and count to ten.
Ø Pay attention to common areas of compliance. Ø
not fight or get caught up in discussions on details.
Ø Think about what you want to say and then say it.
Ø Do not be overwhelmed by an aggressive person. Ø
Exercise your right to reject the advice of a persistent.
Ø Do not let negative people or reduce your enthusiasm strip you of your dreams. Ø Take
up for yourself and the people verbally aggressive and displayed respect you less interested in pressuring you in the future.
Ø Do not give up if you're overwhelmed by an aggressive person. Practice techniques to impose yourself and be prepared to deal with that person the next time.
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